Youth Mentoring  |  Mentor Resources 

Successful Mentoring

Mentors change children’s lives every day.  A recent study showed that children who are mentored are 46% less likely to have started using illegal drugs, 27% less likely to have started using alcohol, less likely to skip school and have 32% fewer incidents of hitting someone in the previous 12 months.  Given the challenges faced by students, parents, and teachers, reaching children before they get into trouble makes sense. 

Mentoring can make the difference.

Choosing to become a mentor demonstrates your commitment to the youth in your community and willingness to actively engage with a deserving child.  Before getting started, it is important to understand the role each of you will play in the relationship. 

A Mentor  is…

• A responsible adult
• A role model
• A patient listener
• An advocate
• A nurturer of possibilities

At times it may be challenging to allow the relationship to evolve and not get distracted by efforts to “change ” or “fix” the child.  Often the student you will be mentoring has many other adults in his or her life who are responsible for doing some of the hard work of disciplining, parenting and protecting.  That is not your role.  What you do is equally important just different.  You can avoid many of the common pitfalls by remembering that

A Mentor is Not ....

• A counselor or social worker
• A parent or guardian
• A disciplinarian
• A party planner or money machine
• A savior

As the relationship between you and your mentee develops you will go through a number of phases.  Try to avoid getting off on the wrong foot by making all the decisions rather than sharing that job with the mentee.  You should both agree on activities and discussions topics.  If the student is shy and does not seem to have an opinion, guess what, there is your challenge.  Help her develop a sense of self-confidence.  Help him find the words to say what he is thinking. 
Don’t be overly concerned that the mentee does not “open up” or shares very little.  Remember the mentoring relationship is based on trust.  When the student feels comfortable in your presence and is sure that you “want” to be with them, the wall will eventually come down.  Identify an interest or activity that you both enjoy and use that as a bridge to developing common conversation threads.

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